Secondly, the use of repeated saying and language, needs to be addressed. For some of us; we don’t live in the streets or certain words are perplexing without a definition. And, there are other words or statements that can be used to describe a movement, sound ect. Using the same words over and over is a bit vapid.
Thirdly, the character development and description (character or otherwise) could use improvement. Tell us more about the characters, delve deeper into their past, their likes, dislikes ect. Don’t just describe them, how they live (whether they are rich or not) and then move on with the story in a hurry. Take the time to develop relationships, and interactions more.
I want to be able to connect with the characters, feel their emotions, what they are going though, I want to feel and see their reaction! Describe the places, don’t just name and then describe them in a hurry, be more vivid! I want to see the places and smell the scents in my mind, I want to mentally be transported to this place, i want to see, hear, smell, and touch everything!
Finally, the separation indicators need to be there! And this is mandatory! It was very confusing to read about a section and then have it suddenly switch perspective without an indicator there. I had to step back several times and figure out what had happened. Only to come find, that the scene, event, point of view changed and I didn’t realize it. Despite these issues, I rather enjoyed the story. But I would have rather seen a different ending then the original one it had. I give this book a 2 out of 4, for it was fair but it needs improvement for me to consider it for a higher rating.
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