1 out of 4 stars
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In Sharks: The Original Screenplay by Nick Duffy, we witness the unraveling lives of Zach, a hopeful yet unsuccessful actor, and Chris, a director driven by avarice. These two men, lacking in monetary funds, quickly spiral into a world of lies, theft, and murder in the hopes of obtaining wealth and power.
I gave this screenplay a 1 out of 4 stars. The following discusses my inability to connect with the characters and my lack of emotional attachment to the story.
Throughout reading Sharks, I never fully understood any of the characters. They frequently appeared to be flat or inconsistent. One of the main characters, Zach, fluctuates between being completely apathetic and indifferent, to the compassionate hero, to the conniving villain. I was never able to pinpoint who Zach really was and what his goals and aspirations were. He seems to go along with whatever comes his way which makes his character flat. I felt that some form of dialogue of internal conflict concerning Zach's actions might have made him a more interesting character.
Other minor characters switched personalities dramatically and made themselves unbelievable. For example, Stanely, owner of the illegal pawn shop, switches from "threatening gangster" to a crying child begging for his life. The transition was so drastic that I did not buy it, and it was difficult to get into the story when the characters were not convincing.
There were also a number of very short scenes where I felt an opportunity to explain past events or emotions the characters felt was unfortunately missed. In some instances, I felt scenes were rushed through to reach parts that were more exciting. Other times, such as in the chase scene between Zach and Hunter, the action was over almost as soon as it had begun, leaving me wanting more.
The story line itself seemed a bit predictable, unnecessarily vulgar at times, disconnected, and rushed. I feel that if another movie is going to be made about money, drugs, and illegal activity something innovative needs to be introduced. I did not buy the "needing the loan for a movie" pitch. The movie that Zach and Chris were planning on making did not seem to tie into anything else in the story, and I felt it was placed there just so Zach and Chris had an excuse for a loan. The story needed something to make everything come full circle.
There were a couple of drafts included at the end of the script, and those actually contained some qualities that the final script lacked. The author included more adjectives and emotions in comparison; these new characters seemed like real people instead of mindless robots with physical actions but little emotion. I wish I would have seen more of this in the full script. The author's writing style was also witty and pleasingly sarcastic at some points. I wonder if this script would have down better as a dark comedy rather than a drama.
I gave this screenplay the rating that did because of its inconsistency in character, its rushed feel, and it's unoriginality in story line. What is left wanting are characters that feel real, scenes that have substance and relevance, a story line that contains something special and unique, and an ending with a solid conclusion.
******
Sharks: The Original Screenplay
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