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One aspect of this book that I am reasonably certain of is that it could be much improved by a thorough editing. The novel is filled with typographical errors. Furthermore, the book makes heavy use of made-up words, since it is set in a fictional fantasy universe. After utilizing a search engine, I learned that the Ovions are a species with six limbs in both the Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica fictional universes. The meaning of much of the rest of the fictional terminology is reasonably easy to figure out, such as units of measurement, though a few made-up words are far harder, even impossible to decipher. The book needs more names and pronouns– much too often, it’s too hard to tell who’s being referred to at certain times.
The plotline revolves around the adventures of Sim, a brave young woman being trained as a kind of space soldier. Throughout the book, Sim travels to different planets, escapes near-death experiences and… it’s hard to tell what else. The main problem with the book is that it’s confusing. Sim narrates the opening chapters of the book, but I’m not sure if she continues to narrate the entirety of the book. I am sure that at some point a male character takes over the narration late in the book, since he refers to a part of his anatomy that only a man has.
There are some potential discrepancies that even repeated re-readings cannot make clear. Early in the book, Sim is described as having a “short pudgy body,” setting her apart from the “tall slim Johuans” who are her classmates. Later in the book, the narrator puts on a pair of pants and fastens them around her “tiny waist.” I found no mention that Sim had lost weight, and either a different character narrates this scene (possible, but later passages indicate that this is Sim), or this is a mistake, or I have missed the passages where Sim becomes slim. Another discrepancy (one of many) is that the pants mentioned in the aforementioned scene are initially described as being “skin tight and a tough material that was a difficult to get into [sic].” Immediately after struggling into the pants, the narrator dons a “matching black jacket.” Sim later describes her attire as a “damn leather contraption,” and emphasizes that her outfit is leather later in the book. However, on at least two occasions prior to the scene where she first climbs into this outfit, Sim clearly knows what leather is. Why then, would she not know the name of the material her clothing is made out of? She ought to know that her pants and jacket are made out of black leather. It’s also not clear why she’s dressed in black leather from head to toe anyway, since she doesn’t seem to enjoy wearing it and its functional purpose isn’t clear (especially since the outfit is, according to her, so constricting), although at one point her leather pants and leather jacket protect her from being burned in a fire.
Occasionally, crudeness disrupts the narrative flow. The occasional profanity is sometimes jarring, and a recurring series of remarks about the size of one character’s breasts is in bad taste. A creature that defeats enemies through the use of its own excrement is just disgusting.
Seth has produced a confusing book, but I believe that Seth can take this book and polish it into something compelling if the book receives a full rewrite. The book needs to be clearer to read, the major plot developments need to emphasized more sharply, the goals of the protagonists need to be made more understandable, and the narrator’s voice needs to become clearer and more consistent. At times Seth’s prose seems artistically crafted, even musical. At other times the prose is blocky and chunky.
This book can be improved through some added work and clarification. An introduction explaining the book’s overall plot and a glossary can do a lot to make the book more reader-friendly. Seth may be able to turn this into an enjoyable book, but it needs a lot of work.
I give this book an official rating of one out of four stars; I would give it one and a half if half-ratings were allowed.
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