Em and the Big Hoom by Jerry Pinto

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PluviophileReader
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Em and the Big Hoom by Jerry Pinto

Post by PluviophileReader »

This book was recommended to me and I was able finish reading it in one sitting as I was on a flight to Cuba. Admittedly this was the first time that I had even heard of the author, Jerry Pinto, who has published numerous books. This particular novel is Pinto's first and, based on some quick research, is a story about his own family and the experiences that they went through in terms of his mother's mental illness. Pinto really embodies what it can be like living with someone who is severely mentally ill.

The setting of the novel takes place in India and revolves around a family of four. Imelda, or as she is more often called, Em, is the mother and is unfortunately prone to bouts of bi-polar and schizophrenic like behavior and is frequently hospitalized for suicide attempts. The story details how Em met Austine, or The Big Hoom, as she often calls him and how the courtship shortly changed when Em started to exhibit some strange behaviors. As Em struggles through her madness, her son puts together their family's story. Em's children are sadly exposed to situations that no one should ever have to deal with. They are constantly worrying about her mental state, if she is manic or depressive and if they need to worry about her attempting to take her own life. In one passage, Pinto perfectly sums up what is is like to have someone you love be effected so severely by mental illness:
“Madness is enough. It is complete, sufficient unto itself. You can only stand outside it, as a woman might stand outside a prison in which her lover is locked up. From time to time, a well-loved face will peer out and love floods back. A scrap of cloth flutters and it becomes a sign and a code and a message and all that you want it to be. Then it vanishes, and you are outside the dark tower again.”

Mental illness is heartbreaking, especially for the loved ones, as it turns everyone's world upside down. The support isn't the same either, it's not like a family member has cancer and everyone can understand the situation and can sympathize with it, so often loved ones will feel alienated and alone as mental illness is so unique and still not fully understood. While Em's situation scars her family, it also ultimately brings them together as well. The ending of the story brings some solace for Em, for her loved ones, and is heart warming for the reader.

My one complaint with this novel was the constant use and ever changing nicknames of the characters. I imagine that because this book is somewhat autobiographical the nicknames come from Pinto's own experiences, but in terms of this novel, it was a bit jarring and unnecessary. If you removed the nicknames, the story would have still been just as effective.

Overall an eye-opening novel into the life and times of a family dealing with a loved ones mental illness, a story, that is not told often enough.
The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
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dhwanis
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Post by dhwanis »

The first time I saw this book, I was at a bookstore with a strict budget and an even longer list of books that I just needed to buy. This book called to me, its dark purple pages and it’s different cover. As I picked this book, instantly I knew this was the one book that I needed to read, not only because of the cover, but the words of authors like Salman Rushdie with backed it up.

I dived into this story, not knowing anything. The story is about, quite literally, em and the big hoom, the narrator’s parents. It was refreshing to read a love story that is discovered by the couple’s son through the various letters that he discovers that his patents had written to each other. This is the way he discovers that his parents are more than just his parents, they are people with identities quite different from what he now takes for granted. He discovers that his parents had a life that did not include him, and was in fact quite beautiful.

The characterization and the narration were such that I could actually visualize the family having tea in their balcony when em was in one of her “good” moods. Personally, em is one character that is quite novel, and yet, so raw that I could instantly feel a connect with her. The life that she wanted to live was quite different than the life she had to live. She was a working woman in the last decade of the twentieth century, the bread winner of her family, and at one point of time, earning more than her beau. Life was perfect. But the society did not think so. The society thought that a woman would not be complete unless she did not get married and had kids. Em, being a ‘good daughter’ got married and had kids. But the cost that she paid, the cost of her independence, of her life, was something that she was quite vocal about.

We see many books, movies, TV shows and in fact, all over social media, mothers are these “sacred” creatures, revered to the extent that they loose their individuality and are nothing other than “mother”, except maybe a wife and a daughter in law. This book takes you inside the mind of a mother, who did not really want it all and that too through the mind of her son!

The book also does excellent justice to the state of mental health in India, at the time. The treatment and the general attitude of the people towards those who are “mad”. The impact of living with a person who is termed such, the impact of being the children and the husband of a mad woman, all are perfectly described.

All in all, a must read. I rate this book a perfect 4 out of 4.
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