Official Review: She Married Kevin I am Fine Now

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TLGabelman
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Official Review: She Married Kevin I am Fine Now

Post by TLGabelman »

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "She Married Kevin I am Fine Now" by Grant Kniefel.]
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2 out of 4 stars
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Blink Jacobs is heartbreakingly in love with Jessica Riley. Jessica Riley is a nymphomaniac. There are many other adjectives used to describe Jessica but nymphomaniac is the only one I care to repeat. Friends since age 5, Blink and Jessica’s relationship is both complex and simple. Narrated in first person, this story merely dips a toe into what can only be a very tragic relationship between boy and girl. The story centers on three areas of Blink’s relationship with Jessica: his crush on her when they were kids, the way the relationship ended and the aftermath. We get hints about things that happened in between but nothing to sink our teeth into.

The first page, nay the first sentence, grabs you and plunges you into this twisted tale. Blink’s conversational story telling is reminiscent of the iconic character, Ferris Bueller. Like a train wreck, I couldn't look away. The language and subject matter are both very strong, and not meant for a younger audience. I found the use of adult language appropriate for the intense situations and the strong emotions the narrator revealed throughout the story. The story has scenes involving physical abuse and severe depression. These graphic scenes are told in a way that neither condones them, nor fully explains their appearance. My heart bled for Blink; he wasn't merely tortured by Jessica but also by himself. Ultimately, as the title states, she marries Kevin and Blink is fine now. No spoilers here.

Although I was immediately pulled into the story, I was let down by the lack of character development. The main characters, Blink and Jessica, are not very lifelike. Blink is interesting but by the end of the story I felt like I didn't know much about him. Everything we know about Jessica is what we are told by Blink. She is not at all likable. She appears to have no redeeming qualities and I couldn't figure out what kept drawing him to her throughout the tale. Of course I've met people in real life who were equally as awful, but I would have liked Jessica to have some personality. Also, there are several intriguing characters who just pop into a scene for a moment and then are gone after a few sentences.

The chapters flip flop from the past to present. The alternating chapters were a bit confusing and I didn't get a good grasp of the timeline, which was disappointing. The story has lots of gaps and there is quite a bit in both Blink’s relationship with Jessica, and his personal past, that is left unexplained. The last chapter and the epilogue are extremely rushed. The narrator admits to skipping over things to finish up the story. Also, there were minor grammar errors, but not being the grammar police myself I wasn't too bothered by them.

My biggest problem with the story was its length. This novel is incredibly short at 25 pages. Currently it is available on Amazon for $5.99 in paperback and about half that price for a downloadable copy; this to me seems pricey. There are many parts of the story that would benefit from additional length. As a reader more detail and description would be welcomed.

The author, Grant Kniefel is a teenager and has true writing talent. His writing was emotional, witty, effortless and cocky, but not too cocky. I don’t mention Kniefel being a teenager so you will have lowered expectations when you read his book. No. I would be equally captivated with this story if written by an adult, which is what makes this so impressive. He has found his unique voice and even in his Dedication and Acknowledgements you get a sense of his personality.

I give this novella 2 out of 4 stars. I really wanted to give 3 stars. However, given the issues I had with character development, story line gaps and length I was not able to justify a 3 star rating. There is a lot of potential in this story. I recommend this story to anyone who likes raw, emotional fiction with provocative subject matter.

******
She Married Kevin I am Fine Now
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Post by Kappy »

Excellent, thorough review. I also reviewed a self-published book in which the author admitted to rushing the book into print. These writers need to understand that a good storyline is not enough. They'll never become successful professional writers if they don't realize the importance of patience and writing technique.
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Post by gali »

Thank you for the nice review. It indeed seems pricy for that short a book.
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TLGabelman
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Post by TLGabelman »

@Kappy I agree. The rushing was not necessary I wanted to know more! The author had me captivated and intrigued....some additional character development and sequencing would have made such a difference. I expect big things from this author!

@gali Thank you.
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Post by Ryan »

Thanks for the very detailed review. It sounds more like an extended short story, though ... which makes the price even more shocking :)
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Post by TLGabelman »

Agreed. I think .99 for the ebook would be better but Im jot sure how they price these things.
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Post by kniefelg »

This is the author himself. I appreciate your review of my novella. I believe that you will be pleased to know it is now available for $0.99 on Amazon. I apologize for the gaps and lack of character development. I do admit I was overly excited for publishing as this is my first publish. I rushed into it without focusing much on it.

Thank you for your feedback!!

Grant Kniefel
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Post by Kappy »

kniefelg wrote:This is the author himself. I apologize for the gaps and lack of character development. I do admit I was overly excited for publishing as this is my first publish. I rushed into it without focusing much on it....
Many of the authors who submit their books for review here do not want constructive criticism; all they want is unqualified praise, and they often get upset when they don't get it. Kudos to you for admitting your book needs improvement.
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TLGabelman
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Post by TLGabelman »

Mr. Kniefel i am so pleased you liked my review. You are someone ill be watching for and i will likely read anything you pen (and no this isnt a shameless plea to review more of your writing....maybe). ;)

-- 16 Mar 2015, 16:40 --

Kappy, from the authors writing you can tell he is mature for his age. His response is another example of this. I hope you read his story.
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Post by kniefelg »

I hope you read my newest short story called Kendra. I know you will enjoy it.
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TLGabelman
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Post by TLGabelman »

I will put it in my queue. Is it on amazon?
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Post by kniefelg »

Yes it is. It's another short one. Only about 18 pages. Its just a simple little short story. It will be released along with She Married Kevin sometime soon.
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TLGabelman
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Post by TLGabelman »

I look forward to it.
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Post by PashaRu »

Nice review, good analysis. Although I agree that the price is a bit steep.
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Post by kniefelg »

What is your position on Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs? I was told by my english teacher that I should be reading it if I want to make my writing "seedy" which my readers will have already read it.
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