Official Review: Cherries in the Snow

[Kappy]

[Following is the official OnlineBookClub.org review of "Cherries in the Snow" by Jonathan Douglas Duran.]

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1 out of 4 stars

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Cherries in the Snow (2015), a self-published book by Jonathan Douglas Duran, is a 147-page collection of ten short stories. The tales generally have dark themes, with some bizarre happenings. The author has written one other book; it is also self-published. The author's biography on Amazon.com describes him as a "writer, visual artist and noise maker. He is a lover and a fighter."

The stories include the following:

• A murder-suicide with a twist; i.e., the suicide precedes the murder.
• A man's reflections on how to eliminate the perpetual pain from a long-lost finger.
• A murder, a 300-year-old death rite, and a revenge murder ... leading to a bizarre confession.
• Two soliloquies from lovers about to split up.
• A face-to-face fight to the death between two hoodlums and two police officers ...
with an unwelcome surprise for the lone survivor.
• A contract renewal between a 148-year-old man and the Devil, who simply wants to have fun.
• A small-town barber's macabre 10-year anniversary celebration.
• A man's inconceivably depraved descent into insanity after the 1929 stock-market crash shatters his life.
• A conversation between two friends about dreams, writing, truth, and life.

The subject matter in the tales includes cross-dressing, child molestation, incest, admiration of the simple lives of wild animals, and speculation about parallel universes.

The author writes clearly and concisely, and keeps most of his narratives interesting from beginning to end. Nine of the stories are succinct and to the point, but the longest tale is considerably longer than is necessary. Half the stories include murder or suicide. Several of the stories feature a character giving an intriguing introspective assessment of himself.

Mr. Duran appears to be quite capable of producing interesting tales. However, some of the stories have far more crude language than is necessary for the author to express himself. It is unclear why he included so much distasteful material. Shocking tales can be interesting, but the worst of these stories are shocking in a dreadfully miserable way.

This book has earned only 1 out of 4 stars. The author has given us some excellent stories, but he has included far too much horribly disgusting vulgar material. And the tales include easily noticed grammatical errors. If you enjoy detailed outlandish debauchery, this book might be for you. But at least 99.99% of readers will likely find the author's depraved graphic ramblings to be unbearable. Was it the author's intent to be intolerably revolting in order to get noticed? Perhaps.

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Cherries in the Snow
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Like Kappy's review? Post a comment saying so!

[Tzara]

Wow! Thank you for this utterly hilarious review - I am honored to achieve the same rating on your personal assessment scale as Green Eggs and Ham!

I do have one questions though, if I may: What are the "easily noticed grammatical errors" to which you refer? My editor and I have poured over this book numerous times so I'm quite curious what constitutes easily noticed.

Thanks again,
JDD

[TLGabelman]

Thanks for the honest review! I cant stomach anything dealing with child molestation, perhaps wince Im a mom of small kids....

[Tzara]

Thanks for the honest review! I cant stomach anything dealing with child molestation, perhaps wince Im a mom of small kids....

Just to be clear - there is only one story with an allusion to child molestation - but I never actually discuss it or detail it...

I would never be so distasteful to use something as atrocious as child molestation in any way that would even come close to being exploitative.

[Kappy]

Wow! Thank you for this utterly hilarious review - I am honored to achieve the same rating on your personal assessment scale as Green Eggs and Ham!

I do have one questions though, if I may: What are the "easily noticed grammatical errors" to which you refer? My editor and I have poured over this book numerous times so I'm quite curious what constitutes easily noticed.

Thanks again,
JDD

"I do have one questions though, ..." [question]
"My editor and I have poured over this book ...." [pored]

"like Santa Clause bearing gifts." [Claus]
"It was surprisingly quite back in my dark corner of the stock room." [quiet]
"What can I do too convince you ...." [to]
"small talk which all barber’s feel obliged to do ...." [barbers]
"Elise hoped it would soon bring warmth with its’ light." [its]
"the latch holding the trunk shut was still doing its’ job." [its]
"with the grace of a bird returning to its’ nest." [its]
"Her father had pulled the rope taught ...." [taut]
“The hell are you doing, Nick?” [missing word]
"comprised of close-knit, working class folk. Working class folk just like ...." [working-class]
"a ten mile walk back to civilization ...." [ten-mile walk]

The story in Green Eggs and Ham is too much like a drug pusher going after little kids, saying, "Try it; you'll like it!" The book's message to little kids is, "if it feels good, do it!"

[Tzara]

Thank you. You have a great eye for editing.

I do hope you're being flip with that reading of Dr. Suess though... I mean, that's insane. Then again...

[Kappy]

From the University of Washington’s Center for Philosophy for Children ...

"A kindergarten philosophy session with Center Program Director Sara Goering starts with a reading of Dr. Seuss's much-loved rhyming book, Green Eggs and Ham...."

"The students recognize the effects of peer pressure, ..."

(http://depts.washington.edu/nwcenter/nl ... sroom.html)

[Tzara]

You're so personable!

-- 13 Feb 2015, 21:56 --

Again, thank you for the review. I would be honored if you could find the time to read my other book.

[TLGabelman]

@Tzara there are plenty of books out there from respectable authors that deal with the subject matter of child molestation. I prefer not to read books that even hint at the subject matter, its simply a personal preference.

This commentary however, is priceless.

[Di Ferren]

Picking out spelling errors as a focus is a little like spitting out the cherry stones. You miss the fleshy bits.
I loved this book and especially the awesome book cover. Submit that one for a design award.

[Kappy]

Picking out spelling errors as a focus is a little like spitting out the cherry stones. You miss the fleshy bits....

Yes, but that's my point. I did not focus on grammatical errors; I never do. That's why I called them "easily noticed." I noticed them without looking for them.

[Tzara]

I did not focus on grammatical errors; I never do.

Yes, to be fair to Kappy, he is far too busy focusing on distasteful and vulgar depravity (as is evident from nearly every comment he has ever made on this site) to have any free time left over for hunting down typos!

It is a brilliant obsession he has... quite fascinating. I hope one day to compose a piece of prose so pure in heart and so unadorned with ribaldry that Kappy himself may heap praise upon it. Until then, I struggle - oh, how I struggle.

[Kappy]

I hope one day to compose a piece of prose so pure in heart and so unadorned with ribaldry that Kappy himself may heap praise upon it. Until then, I struggle - oh, how I struggle.

Ah, but you did! I thought that more than half your stories were first-rate.

[Tzara]

I thought that more than half your stories were first-rate.

This book has earned only 1 out of 4 stars.

[Di Ferren]

Other way around...4 stars...your book is a big deal. LOVE IT!