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The first chapter or two of this book showed promise. It appeared to be a fairly creative take on the vampire theme that permeates today’s culture. The protagonist seemed flawed, but likable, and the opening scenes promised a nice mix of family politics, occult chills, and action.
Unfortunately it failed to live up to its early promise in a number of ways. At the most basic level, the author struggles with conjugating verbs. She uses the past, present and pluperfect tenses indiscriminately, which is extremely distracting. In addition, she makes the type of word-use errors common with individuals who don’t do a lot of reading — “Use to,” for example, and “Should of,” and the noun, “breakdown” in place of the verb, “break down.”
Beyond the basics of grammar, the story deteriorates rapidly once the woman, Emma, appears. For most of the book, it was impossible to tell whether the author realized how bizarre and dysfunctional the situation and the characters’ reactions are. At times she appeared to be setting up some occult reason for the characters’ behavior but, as the story progressed, I got the disturbing sense that she actually thought she was writing a romance. It was all vaguely reminiscent of the television cliché where the obsessed madman kidnaps the object of his obsession, holding her captive while providing her with what he believes is everything she needs to be happy. When Emma tells him she wants to be home with her own clothes and belongings, Cade breaks into her home, goes through her things and presents her with her own painting tools — and lingerie. When she’s not suitably grateful, he flies into a rage and threatens to take them away. After telling her she’s too ill to leave, he suddenly insists that she go swimming with him in the basement pool. And, yet again, he becomes threatening and aggressive when she fails to fully appreciate his generosity.
Emma’s reactions are equally bizarre. One moment she’s terrified of her captor, the next her feelings are hurt because he restrains himself on the verge of raping her. She finds Cade strange, distant, and more than a little sinister, yet she changes her mind in the middle of an escape attempt, in the hope that she might get a chance to sleep with him before she makes her escape.
Near the end of the book, we’re presented with what’s meant to be a reason for Cade’s obsession with Emma, but it comes far too late, it’s a tired cliché, and more importantly, it simply isn’t sufficient excuse to justify his extreme behavior.
The book contains a number of sex scenes. Indeed, the author makes up a particularly odd excuse to throw more of them in. This wouldn’t be a problem if the scenes were well written, but they’re hasty, painfully awkward affairs, as if the author is as uncomfortable writing them as the characters are with the strange circumstances that necessitate them.
Once the issue with Emma is more or less settled, Cade and his companions return to their battle with the Fallen, and the last few pages of the book (aside from the grammatical issues) once again read like a decent supernatural actioner.
With the help of an editor to sort out the verb tenses and word usage, I think this author could write some solid fantasy or supernatural works. Her world is well-imagined and fairly coherent, and feels “lived in.” Her characters are rather shallow but could easily be fleshed out. The author seems to know them well enough. She just hasn’t taken the time to translate this to the page. I think this series would have a lot of potential, if it were rewritten without the romance element. As a romance — if that’s what it was intended to be — it doesn’t work.
I give Fallen Redemption 2 out of 4 stars.
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