Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why does WW II footage of kamikaze pilots show them wearing helmets?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
If money is the root of all evil then how come churches are always asking for it?
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more stupid people happy?
Why does the label on children's Tylenol tell you not to operate heavy machinery ? When was the last time you saw a kid operating heavy machinery?
Why are rabbit's feet considered lucky? The rabbit had four of them and it didn't do HIM any good.
When a farmwife leaves her husband does she leave him a John Deere letter?
If you officially changed your name to Anonymous would you legally own all the stuff nobody ever wanted credit for?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time but not to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?
How can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on?
If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you but when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window!?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no human being in their right mind would eat?
During the 7th inning stretch at the ballpark, why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game'? Aren't we are already there?
If the cops arrest a mime, is it still necessary for them to tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If Dracula has no reflection, how comes he always had such a straight part in his hair?
If 7-11 is really open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
What were the side effects of Preparations A through G?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright