2 out of 4 stars
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So the zombie apocalypse is knocking at your front door. What should you do? Do you have the right weapon? Are you wearing the correct protective gear? Do you know the best ways to take them out? Do you even know what kind of zombie it is?
In The Ultimate Guide to Zombies, author Dave Robertson attempts to keep you alive with this slim manual on everything undead. In his guide, you will learn where the first known “zombies” originated, their evolution in popular culture, the different names and classes of zombies, and how to fight them (and when maybe it’s best to just run). Even a fascinating history on the original “zombie” cocktail is included.
Dave Robertson is clearly a big fan of the walking dead, and his excitement comes through in his prose. When describing seminal zombie movies such as Night of the Living Dead, Zombi 2, and Shock Waves, Robertson proves a vast and entertaining source of knowledge on the histories of zombie films and their influence on society. Robertson is not a slouch when it comes to weapons, either: he makes an excellent case against using katanas and describes the multiple benefits of tomahawks with a vibrant energy that is informative and (pardon the pun) infectious. It is clear Robertson has spent a lifetime enjoying zombie culture, and his book does an admirable job of conveying that adoration to its audience.
Unfortunately, what should have been an excellent opportunity for a zombie-loving author to spread his undead gospel is mired by a disappointing lack of references and illustrations. Robertson constantly makes claims while providing little-to-no data to defend them; at one point, he says zombies are more popular than vampires because World War Z grossed more than Interview with a Vampire. Besides the fact these movies are roughly two decades apart, this also ignores plenty of other successful vampire franchises (Twilight, Trueblood, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, etc.). He also claims that critics “have always looked down on horror movies,” though I think The Exorcist, The Sixth Sense, and Scream might beg to differ.
While Robertson does mention sources of information at times, he offers no index or annotation, so readers have no way of verifying any of his assertions. Robertson constantly refers to the aesthetic pleasures of zombies, yet his guide provides barely a dozen pictures in its entirety. This is not just a missed opportunity; detailed chapters covering topics like brain anatomy, weaponry, and types of body armor become increasingly difficult to process without any kind of visual reference to accompany them.
I found the tone of Robertson’s prose distracting at times. Robertson attempts to use informal dialogue and hackneyed jokes that debilitate his authority and cause more wincing than chuckling. Robertson fails to deliver a joke about explaining the purchase of weaponry “to your wife” (since only guys buy weapons, apparently), then revisits the joke on two separate occasions. His tired ribbings contain all the passion and authenticity of a used-car salesman and become seriously distracting as the novel progresses.
Formatting is also a persistent issue. Chapter One is only a few pages. Chapter Two is a third of the entire book. Pages that were clearly meant to be aligned in graphical formations come out bewildering and clunky. In short, there is little aesthetic quality in his presentation.
The book contains minimal spelling and grammar errors, which is a definite plus. However, for its myriad of missed opportunities, I award The Ultimate Guide to Zombies 2 out of 4 stars. Unless you are a truly committed dead-head, I recommend avoiding this book as much as you would the zombies contained within.
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The Ultimate Guide to Zombies
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