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Could you date someone who doesn't read?

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Post Number:#16  Postby knightss » 16 Jan 2007, 12:42

lol you crack me up emily.
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Post Number:#17  Postby LoveHatesYou » 16 Jan 2007, 13:07

Well, I suppose my thinking might be a little off... ANd I like saying banana hammock whenever possbible, and making a plethora of typos because I type too fast...

Banana hammock!

It's really nice to have friends who read though, so a day in can be lying around, drinking wine and reading books. Especially if you read the same book, and talk about it. I had a roommate in college I'd do that with. Get drunk on Merlot reading, fall asleep, wake up and do it again. I miss college.
"I am a slave to the wonders of the imagination and the cage of creativity." -E. Maggard
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Excercise the mind

Post Number:#18  Postby DriftwoodJames » 16 Jan 2007, 14:17

I still stand by my statement. The only thing I can imagine outside of illiteracy, is laziness. What other reason could there be that a person refuses to read? There are books of every genre, of every class, of every faith, of every art, and science, and subject in existence.

Intellectual laziness is a foreshadow of things to come. Too lazy to read. Too lazy to think for theirself. Too lazy to talk, or share ideas, or nurture their talents, or ours for that matter.

Consider this, my friends; we are writers. Ultimately, we're going to write, and write, and eventually some of us will want to publish. Devotion to our art requires a full time intellectual connection with our medium, in this case the art of wordplay, and structure. We become a jack of all trades, and a master of none--and I PROMISE you--a relationship where both partners do not read, do not share those interests, is a relationship that fails.

A person who can read, but refuses to do so, lacks the imagination to enjoy the work; they will not read your work; proof your work. This is speaking from experience; one ex wife in the road of life, my friends. An ex wife who hated me because I refused to stop devoting my time to writing; to my art. Someone who wanted me to work in a lumber-mill, or as a waiter, or as a clerk; someone who refused me my dream.

Someone who is my ex wife.

It begins with the refusal to read, and it will end with the refusal to share the dream of success.

I'm not even saying my ex was a bad woman; I'm saying that she wasn't the woman for me; I was not the man for her. That one element was the biggest bar of all, between she and I.

Take these things into consideration.

J. Edward Nolan
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Post Number:#19  Postby sleepydumpling » 16 Jan 2007, 19:12

For me I see a difference between those who choose not to read (those who make the boggling statement of "I don't get anything from books.") and those who don't read because they do not have the literacy skills we have.

Not everyone in this world is literate. We quite obviously are, but there are people who simply don't process information in it's written form well. Be it through a learning difficulty or through a simple lack of the "literacy gene". I really believe that some people just don't have it.

A friend of mine is one of the most intelligent people I have encountered in my life. But he doesn't read because it's such a struggle for him thanks to dyslexia. But you tell him a story, discuss what you've read in an article or book, or if he watches a film or documentary, and he can process that information as well as any reader can from a book and use his own intelligence to comprehend what he has processed and turn it back to discuss it with you. In fact he LOVES to be read to, because that way he gets the benefit of a book without the struggle of trying to read it. Audio books have been a fantastic discovery for him. But he's not lazy or unintelligent... he just is not able to process the written word as well as we readers, and responds best to audio information.

But I could never be in a relationship with someone who simply chose not to read because it was too much effort or they found it boring!
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Post Number:#20  Postby blugurl35 » 17 Jan 2007, 13:49

I suppose I could, but it wouldn't last long. I am with DriftwoodJames. Someone who chooses not to exercise their mind and stave off mental disintegration is not one with which I want to spend my time. I was completely infatuated with someone who told me they did not read, and they did not like to read. I was put off at first, then I made it my mission to find material that would turn on the fire for books. Funny that it turned out to be forensic novels and historical fiction. Now she can't stop reading! And all is right with the world.
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Post Number:#21  Postby Dynamo Dan » 17 Jan 2007, 14:38

I don't think I could. Probably the only benefit would be my date wouldn't be a chatter box since she isn't informed on anything. But no, you need to read and like some type of books to get a date with me. I don't care if you look like Anjolina Jolie (well, exceptions can be made) But normally I would say no.
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Post Number:#22  Postby LoveHatesYou » 17 Jan 2007, 14:56

My fiance is not opposed to reading, but doesn't do too much of it, by choice. Instead, he prefers to paint and draw with is free time, and it is beautiful. He'll read for inspiration, or to read up on a painter or artist, or a specific technique, but not really for pleasure as art is his first love. As long as they are exploring the arts, I'm okay with it. No Farenheight 451 activity going on, no book hating- I do alright. I think art- in the form of a canvas or a novel, expands the mind, and that is enough for me. But that might be my hippie liberal artsy college program speaking through me. But anyone who has watched an artist at work can see the artist thinking...
"I am a slave to the wonders of the imagination and the cage of creativity." -E. Maggard
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Post Number:#23  Postby kaytie » 18 Jan 2007, 14:10

There are people who are not able to transcend the written word. What I mean by that is, they can read the words on the page just fine but doing so doesn't produce a picture in their heads. As such, reading is very dry for those people.

It took me a long time to understand that. Your brain's ability to transcend the code on the page is not a gift everyone shares equally.

So for me, yes, I could date someone who didn't read provided he appreciated some other form of art. I love going to the symphony, the opera, the theatre, galleries, museums, and generally traveling, too. I read a lot (I mean, a lot) but that's not all I do. It was much more important for me to find a man who was curious about life. Luckily, I found a man curious about life and who likes to read.


Incidentally, all the women who are wondering where all the literate men are--well, Sunday nights at the bookstore. For some reason I always got hit on when at the bookstore on Sunday nights. FYI. :)
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Post Number:#24  Postby sleepydumpling » 18 Jan 2007, 19:51

Right, I'm off to find a book shop that is open on Sunday nights!
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Post Number:#25  Postby butterflykisses427 » 31 Jan 2007, 20:55



Wow I have to say I am amused by how you people easily stereotype people. I'm not trying to be rude but you are. Just because someone doesn't enjoy reading does not make them ignorant or intellectually lazy. I know many very intelligent people who don't enjoy reading. My boyfriend use to be a reader but now does not particularly enjoy it. He is also hyper and can not sit still long enough to read a book. He prefers to work with his hands. He can tear apart and rebuild an engine like no one's business. He is a very gifted mechanic and owns his own business. He has a very good reputation. If he was ignorant or intellectually lazy he wouldn't be able to do what he can. I have also met people that read all the time that can not deal with the real world and social situations. How much you read is not a sign of intelligence. You could be intelligent in different ways. My younger brother is not a reader. He has top grades and wins all sorts of awards for his grades. Some people are more active than others and don't enjoy the sitting around that is required of reading.

There are so many types of intelligences. Howard Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences ring any bells?

Yes I love to read but that doesn't automatically cut someone off as a potential romantic partner because of it. People have different hobbies. We have hobbies that are the same and ones that make us unique. My boyfriend understands that I enjoy reading and he'll indulge me. One Christmas I got a 60 dollar gift card to Barnes and Noble. We don't have long conversations about books but I have yet to find someone who enjoys the same stuff that I do. We do have lengthy intelligent conversations that are not about books.

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Post Number:#26  Postby sleepydumpling » 01 Feb 2007, 05:37

Please don't generalise, not everyone here is stereotyping!
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Post Number:#27  Postby searching » 02 Feb 2007, 09:48

I married a non-reader and am sad to admit that my reading dropped off tremendously. Although much of that had to do with having less free time. My husband is a very intellegent person though and we have plenty of interesting debates and conversations.
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Post Number:#28  Postby NYLee » 02 Feb 2007, 13:01

Maybe for a couple of hours.
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Post Number:#29  Postby Tmritz » 02 Feb 2007, 22:37

I did and Married him. It did not work. Books were just one of our differences. Now with a extream reader for 10 years. We read interests and therfor have lots to talk about.
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Post Number:#30  Postby dukeloath » 08 Feb 2007, 18:59

I have to agree with one point raised by butterflykisses427.
I accept most views expressed are personal and relate to romantic partners but while reading the posts I, like butterflykisses427, did get a sense than some were labelling non-readers as, well, stupid (just saying what I felt). Pigeon-holing non-readers as non-intellects might be fair enough (I guess most intellectuals read) but to accuse them of lacking any sort of intellectual capacity is a very blinkered view.

I am a rare sample from my hometown because I pursued an intellectual career. As much as I enjoy the intellectually stimulating academic environment, I always look forward to returning home to spend hours sharing stories about non-fictional events and laughing lots (I find comedians a very clever breed) with all my friends who do not read for pleasure. Back home, I am the strange one...
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