Could you date someone who doesn't read?

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coco_lee
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Re: Could you date someone who doesn't read?

Post by coco_lee »

I am inclined to say no but even if my potential partner does not read it would not stop me from discussing the books I am liking at the moment although it would be more amiable if they could contribute to the discussion when book talk comes up!
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annlenhen
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Post by annlenhen »

Yes, I can and I married him. He watches his sports and I read my books. He talks about his sports and I listen. I talk about my books and he listens. My kids are avid readers but they can get suck into the tv of no return so they can only watch the same about that they read.
brandy29b
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Post by brandy29b »

For me, it would depend on some other factors, such as what the person was like personality-wise or their level of intelligence.

Much to my surprise, my husband did not read for pleasure when I met him. After several months of living together, he did begin reading for pleasure. We work in the same field, and there were always plenty of things to talk about, even when he did not read for pleasure. He is very intelligent, and worked on his research a lot (which required a lot of academic reading). It did bother me, but not to the point where it was a deal breaker for me.

I do have a relative who reads nothing and is able to read. Conversing with her is difficult because it feels as though there is nothing new to talk about (she avoids many new experiences). I could not see myself being interested in a potential significant other who was like this. She seems to lack a motivation to experience new things, which makes closeness with her very difficult.

In my experience, people who are averse to reading in general have other issues going on, which would make it difficult for me to seek intimacy with that person. For me, it is not a complete deal breaker if someone chooses not to read for pleasure (or even otherwise).
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beckstrom422
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Post by beckstrom422 »

My husband doesn't like to read like I do. He does like audio books though. Sometimes he will listen to the book I'm reading on audiobook, so we can talk about it together.
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Spencer4365
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Post by Spencer4365 »

I am married to someone who hates reading where I absolutely love reading. To me reading is my escape and my me time, so I don't mind if he would rather play video games then read a book. Reading isn't for everyone. This is one of the things that makes us different from each other and gives us our space time.
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Post by aharmon08 »

Absolutely. I'm currently dating someone who doesn't read very often at all. He's more of a gamer. You can't have too many things in common or it would get crazy boring. I say as long as the person you date supports dating someone with a habitual reading problem, then there shouldn't be anything to worry about. It wouldn't be fair to not date someone just because they don't share one same interest with you.
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Mune
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Post by Mune »

I would have said yes a few years ago, but only to be nice. My ex-husband doesn't read and it was difficult. I am a bibliophile. He hated the books being everywhere, all the book shelves, any money that went into books, the fact that I asked for them as a gift if anyone wanted to get me something. If I was reading he would go out of his way to bother me, pick on me for reading, belittle my reading, etc. My significant other (currently) and I bonded over a whole night of discussing nothing but music and books. We read the same things and were into the same genres and both had delved into historics and classics as much as modern literature. When we combined our books, we actually only had one of the same (as I had lost over 900 of mine in a storage unit problem). We are constantly suggesting new reads to each other and swapping books. He loves that I write and together we are working on a pretty hefty piece of fiction as a combined effort.
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dottyhoward
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Post by dottyhoward »

I married someone who didn't read and it took almost 20 years of holidaying two or three times a year, where I would read four or five books and he would wander around and look pretty bored on his sunlounger. However, I caught his attention with some books (on football hooliganism of all things !) that I bought for his birthday just before a holiday and now, whilst he is not an avid reader, he always looks for books to take on holiday and I have found that more and more, when we return and his is still part way through a book that he didn't finish, he gets quite animated about needing some quiet at home to read ! It was along job but we have the beginnings !

-- 14 Feb 2016, 04:59 --
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sielervik09
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Post by sielervik09 »

My boyfriend is not a reader. That is, unless it's like a magazine and there's an article he's really into. However, he supports my reading addiction more than anyone ever has. He's bought me bookshelves when I've acquired too many books, a kindle, a book lamp so I can read in bed at night, etc. Also, he's always open to hear about what I'm reading, he just doesn't have the patience to do so himself. He says it makes me more attractive that I read because I'm sophisticated and intelligent.
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Aimeeelaine
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Post by Aimeeelaine »

My husband is not much of a reader. It works perfectly for us. He plays a game or is fishing and I am nearby with a book. By having different interest we teach each other something new and stretch each other. I learn about his hobbies and he listens to me when I talk about my books.
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Post by Dyslexic-Superhero »

I've dated a couple of guys who didn't enjoy reading. It is hard to have relationship when the other person doesn't get why I'm laughing histracially, when I gasp or wept because something I just read. I think it can work between a reader and non reader as long as they understand every film adaptation is wrong compared to the book. If they don't know that is a argument they will never win then the relationship is doomed. :tiphat:
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Post by AnushkaL »

As much as I adore the habit of reading in a person, I think it would be okay if he didn't share my interest. But I have to say, a man quietly reading a book in the corner of a cafe on a Sunday morning is so more appealing than someone who's drowning in their smartphone. It's a personal view, so don't hate me! ( The second guy could be reading an e book on his smartphone, for all I know!)
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Nobyeni
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Post by Nobyeni »

Definite: No!
Also, the moment you first enter someone's home, I always look at the books they have. It tells a lot.
Which also made me date guys who ended up not having read the books they had on display... so, some caution is needed ;)
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Post by Kaitlyn12 »

My boyfriend have been together for almost 5 years, and he doesn't read. Unless he absolutely has to, he won't do it. It doesn't really bother me that much. It does get kind of annoying when I want to sit and read my book and he wants to do something else and is annoying about it. LOL! But other than that, it doesn't bother me much.
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Goms
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Post by Goms »

I don't see why not, provided we have most things in common. Like if the person has the qualities that I want in terms of values and beliefs, I would not hesitate to go out with such.
I believe that we can't all be the same, we can't all like the same things, so if I see someone that likes about 70% of the things I like, I'm willing to let go of the remaining 30%.
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