Could you date someone who doesn't read?

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Elanor17
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Re: Could you date someone who doesn't read?

Post by Elanor17 »

My husband and I have been married for 19 yrs and he has never and will never read a book. We joke about it and I have even told him I would have to get him a picture book just to say he read something. His comment is why read when you can just watch the movie.
It doesn't bother him that I read as much as I do and it doesn't bother me that he doesn't. You can't have everything in common with your significant other. If you did you would probably drive each other insane. I know he would drive me crazy if I didn't get "Me Time" and reading is "Me Time".
As the saying goes "opposites attract" and it most definitely works for us.
sullivan + 2
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Post by sullivan + 2 »

I have been married twice and neither husband was into reading. On the other hand, my current husband has a couple of grandchildren who love reading and visiting the library. The only time that I was on a date where books were discussed was on a double date many years ago with a couple of guys from Princeton. The topic was French literature and I knew nothing about it and my date and I were quiet all evening.(we just looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders)
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Nesara
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Post by Nesara »

Actually, I have tried this one many times. Since I am a pretty looking person, people usually lie to me about their hobbies when I am hanging around them during the initial period. Later, when I discover the lie that the person doesn't read, I don't stop dating them because I already like them for other things. But eventually, all these relationships never worked out for me and I realised that these people were somehow not my type and I had to move on.
Now, I have found the love of my life :) and we share books, discuss about books and their horrible movies, listen to hear books together, sleep on the lawn next to each other and read etc.. I realised that we could do so many things just by having just "reading books" as a common hobby. I am glad and would suggest book lovers to date book lovers!
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Jennifer_Caffelle
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Post by Jennifer_Caffelle »

Currently in a relationship with someone who doesn't read...it's not a deal breaker, but it can be hard too. I'm constantly asking if he has headphones, whenever I'm trying to read he has annoying videos playing in the background, or something on the TV. Oftentimes he has something on the TV AND is watching a video on his phone or tablet. I don't know how he focuses on one....and it's impossible to read at the same time. Usually he'll get through a book or two during summer vacation, but I rarely see him pick one up just because. Sometimes I feel like we live in different worlds, and yes, it can be hard!
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Post by Shermac21 »

My husband and daughter aren't readers but they understand that I love to read. I discuss books with friends and coworkers so I have that route to use for discussions.
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PolarTee
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Post by PolarTee »

I've never dated someone who likes to read. I barely know anyone else who likes to read, so thank goodness for the Internet or I would have no one to talk books with! Luckily at my current job I have met four ladies who are avid readers and who have similar reading tastes, so we recommend books to each other. Finally, I'm not the only reader around! :D
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trealavery
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Post by trealavery »

i have in the past, and it made me sad. i always tried to get him to read the books that i loved, and a few times forced him to borrow books, and he never read them. it was heartbreaking not being able to share that with him!
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Post by +++--- »

Its true that this situation makes anyone restless but if it happens then I don't mind as it shows the lack of opportunity because physical appearance also indicates intelligence of the person.And as we all know it well that in our normal life we need practical knowledge more than bookish knowledge.
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MkWegs
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Post by MkWegs »

Yes because you can show them the joys of reading! I was not a reader for a long time until my grandfather picked books for me and I learned I just needed the right books! It's been a great bonding experience for my husband and I when I find him books he ends up liking :)
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hamartia
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Post by hamartia »

I married a man who hates to read and hates for me to read. He says its a waste of time. I obviously do not agree and it does cause some turmoil. I try to read when he's not around otherwise he aggravates me until I cannot focus on the book. I love him and reading. :)
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By Bengali Girl
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Post by By Bengali Girl »

Nope! I have tried to and it was exhausting. They never understand how you can spend hours engulfed in a book.
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Post by Brea_21 »

I am currently engaged to a man who hates reading. He literally despises it so much that he has me read a lot of necessary things. It is hard at times because I love to just curl up with a book and read all day. He is so busy and always is wanting to do something. This causes us to clash heads because I do not want to go anywhere while he does. He also gets frustrated with the amount of books I buy! I have over 500 books not including my downloaded ones and I am only 23 years old. He always tells me that I have too much. This is again where we clash heads but overall I do what I want with my money and he deals with it. I have a best friend who loves to read as much as I do, so I do have someone to discuss my books with because my fiance just does not care. It does get hard but we make it work and it is not the base of our relationship. We have been together almost 7 years and have a son together whom I plan to read to everyday (once he is born). So overall I am dating someone who does not read while it can be hard it is not the worst thing!
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cjohns105
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Post by cjohns105 »

My family are not avid readers. My uncle, for example, will proudly tell anyone who wants to listen that he hasn't cracked a book open since the 10th grade (which was more than 40 years ago) and he's managed to do alright for himself. My father buys dozens of books every year, but mostly just to look at them and act like he's read then when the truth is that he hasn't. I think we have to qualify what is meant 'doesn't read'. In my mind that means 'doesn't read books', and that is fine with me. Even if you don't always have a novel in your hand, that isn't the same as never reading anything. The are plenty of sources that might not be considered literary reading: news papers, magazines, online articles, blog content, fan fiction, reference materials, etc. That uncle who hasn't read a book in 40+ years still reads a ton, even if he doesn't think of it that way, and he is a perfectly pleasant, intelligent man.

I can comfortably say that I would be fine dating someone who doesn't read. The truth is that there are a lot more people who don't read much, and not nearly so many that read as much as I suspect everyone on this site does. As long as some one can hold a conversation, I'm satisfied.
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kimmiwrites
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Post by kimmiwrites »

I've dated lots of people who don't read and it can be trying at times because the men in my life don't really get it. It makes it worse that I'm a writer as well. I would love to meet someone who was into those types of things but I really find it hard to meet them.
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Tori_Teacup
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Post by Tori_Teacup »

None of my boyfriends have ever really read for fun. I never thought of it as a big deal. My current boyfriend does enjoy comic books but doesn't ever read anything else. He still encourages me and feeds my habit so I'm fine with it. Haha.
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